All the days of our lives… Creating Relationship

Four years ago today, I donned a long ivory dress, mounted a horse named Convict and rode across a wide Texas pasture to the man I was about to marry. Our loved ones gathered around us , and we said our vows beneath an ancient Bois d’Arc tree on a dear friend’s farm. That day will forever be etched in my heart. I was 52 years old, and it was my first and only wedding.

I have asked myself at times, and certainly others have asked me, how this happened to me. I’ve come up with all kinds of answers over the years, such as:

  • I was in the right place at the right time.
  • I worked on myself to be open.
  • I had finally accepted that I might never get married.
  • I felt good about myself when we met.
  • I was just a very fortunate girl.

They are all true, in a way; and none is the complete answer. So, let me offer another possibility, from the Wheel of Creativity.

A year before my husband and I began dating, I met a different man. I knew it would not be a permanent relationship, and I guessed it would end in pain. I knew I could be either the woman who stayed safely on the side of the precipice or the woman who jumped. For 25 years I had kept my heart safe. This time I jumped. It was then I chose the mantra:  “Don’t say no to love.”

I had opened my heart, and that changed everything. So, a few months later, when my husband first invited me into a relationship, it was with an open heart that I responded. My mantra gave me my yes. And “I do” gave me all the days of our lives. I didn’t imagine it could get better than that, but it has.

The title of this blog has two meanings for me today.

  1. First, it connotes commitment. Embrace the package, do the work, and never give up. That much I knew when I said, “I do.” Committing your life to something changes the game completely. That day four years ago was just the beginning.
  2. Second, it describes the unit of measure in which this commitment is carried out… one day at a time. This I’m learning as I go. Some days are easier than others, but I do my best. We both do. And that changes the rules of the game.

The Wheel of Creativity teaches that the quality of your days is determined by your responses to what they bring. The past, present and future are the byproducts. Whether it’s a relationship, a home, a project or a job you’re after, they all are grown within you, and blossom in the world around you.

Every single day presents you with thousands of choices. How you make them – consciously or unconsciously, deliberately or by default, with courage or fear – is the process by which you create your life.  Commit to something. Follow it through. And it will transform you.

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